People wearing turbans, some in ten gallon hats,
Some called Slim and some called Fats,
It’s a wonder, boys, anything ever gets done.
Everybody’s talking about shit on a stick,
Some say thin and some say thick,
On this little blue ball, rolling ‘round the sun.

Everybody’s asking, who turned out the lights.
Must be the same fella who cancelled the flights.
I’m buried in email, buried in faxes,
Makes you kinda thankful for death and taxes.

Adam said to Noah, “Better build us a boat.”
Noah said back, “Man, let’s take us a vote.
I did that once and it wasn’t much fun.”
Adam said to Noah, “But the levee’s gonna break.
And the wife is kinda worried bout her big pet snake.”
On this little blue ball, rolling ‘round the sun.

Everybody’s asking who’s responsible here
Only thing I tell ‘em is there’s nothing to fear
Just find yourself a horn, rear back and blow it.
It’ll all be over before you know it.

Moses asked Jonah could he lend him a bone.
Jonah said, “I’m busy selling all that I own
To a businessman dressed like a nun.”
Everybody’s hungry, even Peter and Paul
No more loaves and fishes, someone swallowed it all.
On this little blue ball, rolling ‘round the sun.

Everybody’s lookin’ for a reason to pray,
They think I got the answers but there’s nothing to say.
Only thing I know is Jesus died last summer.
He went out for a drive and he wrecked his Hummer.

David and Goliath were the best of friends,
They fought the war together, and they died in the end,
And no one could say which side had won.
Joshua fit the battle of Jericho
And then he got drunk at a burlesque show,
On this little blue ball, rolling ‘round the sun.

Everybody’s asking, what’s behind all this.
Don’t know what to tell ‘em, so I blow ‘em a kiss.
Just keep yourself busy, devote yourself to labor,
Plant lots of flowers, be kind to your neighbor.

Joseph and Mary got no place to stay,
The innkeeper frowns and looks the other way.
“Who says Jehovah needs another son?”
Joseph says to Mary, “There’s no reason to cry.
If he can’t be born, then he won’t have to die
On this little blue ball, rolling ‘round the sun.”